10 Hard Lessons That Made Me Stronger (And Most Men Never Learn)
I wasted years chasing drugs, pills, and hacks. Here’re 10 daily strategies that carried me from cancer and panic to presence and power, when everything else failed.
How I Learned to Struggle Well (The Ultimate Resilience Playbook).
I’ve received numerous requests in recent months to write a piece on how I learned to struggle well, despite facing so much physical and mental adversity in my life…
Be it, cancer, insomnia, low testosterone, panic disorder, anxiety, hypothyroidism, IBS, and even atrial fibrillation (I’ve had more diseases by 31 than most men in their 60s get).
So if I may, I’d like to preface this post by saying I don’t write this from a place of theory or “science,” per se (although some of the strategies are heavily science-backed)...
I write it from a place of having been in the trenches and lived it. So with that may I just also add… just because these strategies worked for me, it doesn’t mean they’ll 100% translate to you.
And obviously, it goes without saying, this is not medical advice. Do not attempt any of these strategies without first seeking advice from a qualified professional.
Like most men trying to fix themselves, I did what you’ve probably done:
I confided in doctors, and despite their best efforts, it never helped and in some cases made things worse…
I took hundreds (maybe even thousands) of supplements (no joke, I used to go to Wholefoods at least once a week and load up on new supps because they had a policy whereby if you didn’t like them, you could take them back and get a full refund)…
I experimented with all sorts of Biohacks (some I look back at and frankly, just cringe)… And even invested tens of thousands in so called, “Experts.” but saw no lasting results (including the country’s top hormone specialist who tried to put me on TRT despite a faulty blood test result.. mental).
I wasted years chasing shortcut after shortcut.. And the biggest lesson I learned?
I didn’t need hacks. I needed powerful foundations I could trust. Timeless classics that could empower me for life without it having to f-cking dominate my daily life, like it has done for so long (honestly, real health should enhance your life, not take over it).
And through my cancer recovery, overcoming God knows how many diseases, fixing my own sleep, and now, guiding dozens of CEOs back to strength and clarity, I came to see this massive realization:
You don’t win by avoiding struggle. You win by learning how to struggle well.
Or put another way (and maybe more poetically), life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass, it’s about learning to dance in the rain (corny I know but screw it).
The point here is this: struggling well isn’t glamorous…
It’s not sexy…
It’s not tubs of powders or tracking your HRV in six apps.
It’s the simple, brutal, daily systems that keep your biology aligned so you can carry life’s burdens with ease… at home, at work, and in your own head.
Below are 10 strategies (plus a bonus) I’ve used for myself and my clients to rebuild testosterone, sharpen focus, and stay calm under fire.
I know some of you are big science nerds and that’s fine. I used to be like that but I’m beginning to think that most science is nowhere near as objective as we’ve been led to believe (but I’ll save that tangent for another post).
For now… just know some of these strategies are science-backed. But one thing I can promise is every one is lived, tested, and battle-hardened based on my own personal experience.
And just so you know: I didn’t discover these as a “health guy.”
I tested them while holding down a high-pressure Sales Director role in a Virgin Fast Track 100 company… seven years in the trenches of corporate stress.
So if you want standard wellness fluff and the cookie-cutter nonsense that’s spurted out of the mouths of Huberman or Bryan Johnson types, that’s fine but this won’t be it (that kinda stuff repulses me).
It’s the exact system I built to stay sharp under fire… and it’s the same framework I now arm CEOs who refuse to age like the average man.
Below are the 10 strategies (plus a bonus) that form the backbone of the Struggle-Well Playbook. Each one is simple, lived, and battle-tested.
Let’s start with the foundation: food.
1. Carnivore Hybrid Nutrition
Why it matters
All the Netflix documentaries like “What The Health” or “Game Changers” were pure, baseless propaganda. And I (stupidly) fell for it. Once, I started predominantly eating animal foods, everything changed. The biggest takeaway I learned is that a broken gut equals a broken mind. Every neurotransmitter for calm, focus, and testosterone starts with the right food inputs.
Do this
Two large meals: breakfast + lunch (finish by 4 PM).
Meat, seafood, eggs, raw goat/cow dairy, full-fat yogurts and cheeses, root vegetables, seasonal fruits.
No dinner.
No liquids with meals (wait 1 hour either side to drink).
Avoid
Skipping breakfast. Trust me. I’ve been there and I learned the hard way that it’s cortisol fasting, not optimization.
Want the full breakdown? → [Read the Carnivore Hybrid Nutrition template here]
2. Direct Sunlight
Why it matters
The biggest mistake old me made was underestimating the power of natural light. It’s as important as nutrition. I’m being serious. Your circadian rhythm drives every hormone you care about. Morning and evening light are the anchors. Miss them and you’re fighting uphill all day.
Do this
20 minutes outside at sunrise.
20 minutes before sunset.
If impossible, use a 150–200W halogen bulb (never stare directly at it).
Avoid
Believing indoor light counts. It doesn’t… especially LEDs and fluorescents. They’re extremely toxic. Fit all your most used spaces in your house with either incandescent or halogen lights (ideally tinted red). This will revolutionize your sleep and health.
3. Buteyko Breathing
Why it matters
I remember when I met Wim Hof. I will never forget it when he told me “Your breath is your home base.” And he’s right. Whenever I’ve had serious anxiety or episodes of panic; focusing on slow and long breaths made a HUGE difference. It would shift my state within 10 minutes. And what I realized through all those experiences is that anxiety isn’t always mental. More often it’s poor CO₂ tolerance. Raise your tolerance and you calm your nerves, steady your focus, and drop stress levels.
Do this
10 minutes, twice daily.
Slow, nasal, controlled breathing.
Track your BOLT score (aim for 40+).
Avoid
Wim Hof-style hyperventilation. I thought the Wim Hof Method was inherently good but when you’re already anxious or feel burned out, it can actually make things worse. It spikes stress in men with already hyper-aroused nervous systems.
4. Kettlebell Breathing Drill
Why it matters
Most men chest-breathe. That locks you in fight-or-flight mode which clouds your thinking and ruins your ability to be effective. Training the diaphragm, especially expanding the lower 2 ribs, flips the switch back to calm and confident.
Do this
Lie on your back, knees bent.
Place a kettlebell (start with 5kg) on your stomach.
Inhale slowly into the weight. Exhale even slower.
5 minutes, twice daily.
Avoid
Fast, shallow breaths. Speed equals stress. Slow and deep is how you reset your system. Inhale for 5 and exhale for 7 or.. you can try inhale for 4, pause for 7 seconds, and then exhale for 8 seconds.
5. Fascia Release
Why it matters
Most of you (including my former self) have awful postures from sitting too much. This causes tight traps and pec minors which chokes your breathing mechanics. Static stretching makes things worse (avoid Yoga too).. you need to free the fascia and you free your nervous system.
Do this
Use a Theracane on pec minor, neck, and traps.
Roll on a hockey ball for legs and back.
Breathe into tender spots until they release.
Avoid
Rushing. Fascia only unlocks with time… give it patience or it won’t change. Trust me: allocating 30 minutes before bed 3-4x/week to do this will make a huge difference to your health and sleep quality.
6. Train Functionally, Not for Aesthetics
Why it matters
I’ve been weight lifting for 16 years. I’ve gone from a skinny 179 pounds to a pretty muscular 211 pounds (in my prime). I’m not the strongest or biggest guy out there but I’ve been around and done enough to know that bodybuilding splits have huge limitations for older men. They were designed for stage aesthetics, not longevity. Bilateral sagittal dominant lifts compress your spine and shorten your athletic lifespan. I’m convinced it’s why I’ve always had right shoulder issues and hip impingement problems, which have finally started to improve after I radically shifted my training approach.
Do this
Prioritize unilateral, rotational, and lateral movements.
Study Weck Method + Functional Patterns training principles.
Sprint, throw, rotate (move like your ancestors).
Forget the focus on weight and instead, focus on function and form.
Avoid
CrossFit beatdowns or Jocko-style intensity. Most men are more burned out than they admit. Functional training builds resilience and, ironically, delivers better aesthetics in the long run (while saving your back).
7. Hydrate Smart
Why it matters
I used to guzzle down liquids all day, every day because that’s what I was told was “healthy.” Little did I realize going to the bathroom every 45 minute isn’t hydration, it’s a leak. See the truth is, hydration isn’t about gallons, it’s about quality. Overdrinking plain water dilutes minerals, slows digestion, and leaves you weaker.
Do this
Get 90% of hydration from whole foods, raw juices, and raw milk.
Never drink with meals; wait at least 1 hour after.
If you must drink water, consume with 1/4 tsp of salt + a squeeze of fresh lime or lemon
Avoid
Chugging 2–3 gallons “for health.” You’re not flushing toxins, you’re flushing minerals.
8. Grounding
Why it matters
Sure, like you, I was the guy who always laughed and ridiculed anyone who tried to make the case for grounding. It sounded way too esoteric and “woo-woo” right? But then I went down the rabbit hole, started reading Steiner’s work and Dr Tom Cowan’s work and I was blown away by how f-cking stupid I was being for not taking this stuff seriously. Turns out, our body’s are one big electrical system. Stress, Wi-Fi, and EMFs build static in your body. Grounding discharges that load and resets your nervous system.
Do this
Stand barefoot on grass, soil, or sand for 30 minutes daily (consider buying grounded shoes too, to use during the day)
Bonus: do it beside a large tree (deeper roots, stronger charge reset)
Avoid
Shoes and synthetic surfaces. They cut you off from the earth’s current.
9. Block Blue Light
Why it matters
I did an experiment on this recently. A few months ago, I kept finding that by 2pm, I felt fried. Like really apathetic and couldn’t understand why. I thought it may be my computer screen glare so I decided, whenever I was using a screen, I’d put on my blue-blockers and see if it made a difference. And to my pleasant surprise, they were transformative. Apathy disappeared and I can focus easily now throughout the day, until late if I need to. What I realized is that screens don’t just tire your eyes. Blue light nukes dopamine, leaving you apathetic, unfocused, and drained after every scroll.
Do this
Use heavy-duty blue blockers whenever you’re on a screen.
Only buy certified brands with spectrometer proof.
Avoid
Cheap Amazon glasses. Most block nothing and give you false confidence. The darker the tint you can cope with, the better.
10. Kill the Wi-Fi at Night
Why it matters
As I touched on above already, I’m now absolutely convinced our bodies and our nervous systems are electrical. And if you’re anxious or regularly stressed, this means your nervous system isn’t regulated properly. I’ve found that one of the key (but bizarre) culprits is sleeping next to routers and sockets (especially when turned on). It’s like sleeping in static… it disrupts recovery and compounds stress.
Do this
Turn Wi-Fi off every night.
Move your bed away from sockets and appliances. Unplug them all if you can.
Use a Trifield meter to measure exposure (seriously eye-opening exercise).
Avoid
Believing “it’s harmless.” EMFs are subtle, but their load builds night after night. Trust me, this is the one too many of you are underestimating at your own destriment.
Bonus: Ditch All Synthetic Supplements
Why it matters
This was the most painful one to write. As although I’ve taken predominantly supplement-skeptical view over the years, I’ll be the first to admit, I’ve taken way more than I should have done, and without to the relevant due-diligence to ensure I’m taking legitimate ingredients. Now, after researching into manufacturing practises and the toxic nature of chemical derivatives used to make synthetic supplements, I’ve done a full 180 on my opinion (it’s a deep and dark rabbit hole). What I’ve decided is that you don’t build vitality from factory-made powders. Taking isolated ingredients (especially synthetics) confuse your biology, disrupt digestion, and create more problems than they solve.
Do this
Stop all capsules, tubs, and “fortified” blends.
Replace them with nutrient-dense foods: organs, shellfish, eggs, raw dairy.
If you have to supplement, only focus on desiccated organs from 3rd party tested providers.
Avoid
Believing synthetic vitamins are “safe.” They’re not. Most were designed in labs to mimic food and marketed as health.
You’ve just seen 10 daily strategies (plus a bonus) that rebuilt my biology piece by piece.
Individually, each one matters. And my hope is that together, they form a system… a rhythm your body can finally trust.
And that’s the difference.
Health isn’t built from hacks. It’s built from repeatable habits that compound into resilience. But the headache I know most of you have is knowing which ones offer you the biggest bang for your buck in returns, right?
I know I’m biased but these 11 strategies (including the bonus) are the ones going to get you those compounded returns. I’d be willing to put a lot of money on the bet that consistency at these will transform you into an unrecognizable man within 3-5 months.
Sure, you can reject my advice and always keep searching… but please just don’t forget how much time you’re dedicating to this. It has HUGE opportunity cost.
Take it from someone who has been there.. I used to think I needed hacks, more tubs, more apps, and more gadgets.
The truth is simpler.
Strength doesn’t come from avoiding struggle. It comes from struggling well.
And struggling well means building proven systems into your daily routine that your biology can trust… every day, no matter the chaos around you.
If it all feels a little too complex, it’s probably because it is and that should force you to pause and reflect.
This is the playbook I wish I’d had 11 years ago when I started this journey. It’s what carried me from cancer and panic to clarity and resilient.
It’s the same framework I’ve used with dozens of 7–8 figure executives who thought they’d lost their edge… until they won it back.
You will struggle. That’s guaranteed. The only question is this:
Will you keep struggling stupid? Or will you finally learn how to struggle well?
TL;DR: The Struggle-Well Playbook
Carnivore Hybrid (2 meals by 4 PM, no liquids)
Direct Sunlight (20 min sunrise + sunset daily)
Buteyko Breathing (10 min AM + PM)
Kettlebell Breathing Drill (5 min AM + PM)
Fascia Release (15 min nightly)
Functional Training (Weck Method or FP, 5x weekly)
Smart Hydration (food-based, no water with meals)
Ground Daily (30 min barefoot)
Block Blue Light (all screen time)
Kill Wi-Fi at Night
Bonus: Stop Synthetic Supplements (replace with food)
That’s it.
If you got value from this post, please consider sharing it so others can benefit too:
And if you disagree with anything I’ve written or want me to elaborate on anything, feel free to leave a comment below:
Thank you for your attention and see you in the next post.
— Simmo.
P.S. If you’re a business owner or leader over 40, who’s tired of shortcuts and ready to rebuild your biology the right way, I take on 5 private coaching clients each quarter. This is not for dabblers. It’s for men who demand results and are willing to do the work. If that’s you, you can apply to see if you’re a fit for a private strategy call with me here:
P.P.S
Disclaimer: This publication is opinion and consumer-education. It is not medical advice, diagnosis, treatment, or a substitute for care from a qualified clinician. Do not start or stop any drug or supplement based on this article. Speak with a licensed health professional who knows your history. This work reflects my views based on materials available at the time of writing and on sources cited or shown. I do not use affiliate links or sponsorships. Logos, screenshots, and short excerpts may be shown for identification, critique, and education. Trademarks and copyrights remain with their owners. I aim for accuracy. If you believe something is factually wrong, contact me and I will review and correct if needed.